i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
