You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
