it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
