I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize