either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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