You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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