I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
