Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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