I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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