Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
