Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
