So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize