Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
