I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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