yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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