She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize