You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
