Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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