I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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