I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
