After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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