ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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