i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
