Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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