i jhust puked up my retainher.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
