I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
