they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
