Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
