I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
