Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
