my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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