member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
