Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
