It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
