using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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