i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
