We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
COCAINE IS GR8
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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