I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
