oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize