I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
