I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
