Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
