I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
