That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
