I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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