who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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