escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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