Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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