I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize