She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
last night I used snow as a chaser
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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