Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
