I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize