My brain says no but my pants say off.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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