It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
