The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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