Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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