How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
