Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
